Phew.. I Angela have definitly fallen for Dylan. I don't want to really i dont. Tonight.. Dylan wanted to let me in a little more, so he told me about his past love life.. Sounds like he is interested and wants things clear right? You couldnt be more wrong.. He is so great, amazing,nice, and sooo handsome. But his past is going to make or break him at this point. He is not looking for a relationship right now, and i was selfish before, i could not understand why, why he would not want a relationship, and why not with me of all people, i mean we text day and night, we talk about silly things, flirt.. But what made him feel that way.. I found out tonight. And Dylan just needs a break, i still deeply care for him, as i always will, weather he is a great friend, or we do become more. I definitly feel a deeper connection between us now.. I honestly dont beleive he tells everyone what he has told me tonight. And it just brings me closer. Also, i have told him of my history.. Just the major points, in which NONE of my friends know.. Except for one, Raven Francess. And this is only because i love her like a sister. But why did i tell Dylan?? I dont ever tell people of personal problems and love life at that type of depth.. This clearly has connected me to him even more..

oh and i sent an e-mail to my ex chris while i was crying due to the personal info dylan told me. And yes i do miss the mother fucker who called me a bitch. And we will see how it goes from there.. I bet no one is guna even read this.. Hm.

So i know it has been a long @$$ time since i have written in this. But i need to vent so here it is :

-My best friend is back stabbing me.
-My bf and i had a fight.
-One guy is making me question my bf.
-I have 2 jobs.
-My best friend never talk or hangs with me.
-My best friend is rude/bitchy when we do talk.
-I miss my brother so much.
-I have major bills to pay off consisting of 480$.
-I'm having trouble with math.
-I have drivers training.
-Life seems so confusing.
...I just want my bestie to be the one who is there for me.. like she used to. I used to be able to tell her everything... Now she is drifting apart, and talking behind my back =[

My bf is 19, has a kid, doesnt have a steady job, never comes to see me, and never pays for anything. I honestly don't think he is going far, and my best friend doesnt know half of this because she is to busy with other people, or is snotty when i do talk about my relationships.

I am falling for a guy who is totally different from any other guy i have liked/dated. But i have doubts.

And last... Raven.. I miss you so much it hurts. I can't believe you told sam what i said.. and i can't believe how negative u always are to me.. your like my sister and i trusted you with everything..

I'm just so upset and confused right now, i dont know where to turn but to myself. I miss the way things were when i was a kid, growing up is just not as great as its made out to be...

-Angela Ann </3 =[

So i have alot going on in life lately. Uhhg.
-My bestie is currently sick, not sure with what D:
-I must go see mr. eye doc man, b.c im going blind ffs -.-
-I used to be excited for weekends... until i got a job -.-
-I am freaking out about money costs.
-I am lately super tempermental.
-My brother is graduating, and leaving me soon =[
-I am in love with forbidder. lol (long story)
-I'm invisible.
-I havent been drunk in a long time.
-I havent partied at all, and dont know lik anyone.
-I have to plan to much shit.
-I wish i had a break
-Im finishing up school, and tests are coming.


life sucks at the momento... lol i wish my bestie was ok most tho, i miss her, and hope she sees this =[

Oh Boy.
So there are 3 guys in my life that mean more than anything to me.
The problem is.. My best girl thinks one is using me. The onli problem is she doesn't know what he is really like. I mostly bitch and shit about the bad. But he really does care. He is more perverted than anyone i have ever met. But he has a soft spot for me.. and he cares like no guy i have ever met. He listens to what i have to say, and if im not comfortable it is ok. He has never had a gf b4 and he is a virgin. I think he likes me alotttttt more than he may lead onto.

Next i was in love with one guy for the longest time. He lives so far away tho. And even in the beginning my best girl didnt like him either. tipical. But we fell in love. And even when we broke up we remained really close. He always tells me he loves me. And he is sweet. But i think he is old love. And i will always love him. Just not as much as i used to.

Third. He is the sweetest guy EVER. Not pervey. Not shallow. Just, sweet. He believes in the same things i do. And treats me amazingly. only problem is he is a little of a drive away. We talk almost everyday and doesn't get old. He is always waiting to talk to me and he listens. He is funny and really cute. He makes me superrr happy. The only problem is im not sure if i shud tell him i like him. like why ruin something if its good.. am i right?And my best girl hasnt seen/met him which i think is good.

I dont mean to bash her. But everytime i tell her something about a guy i like, she rolls her eyes and gives me a speach, or gets snotty. I know she may read this but idc. Its upsetting when she does all this shit and hurts. When i have problems i want her to be there for me.. lately when things are happening i feel she isn't there like before..

Wow i wasted alotta time on this. But w.e lol. Tiz nice to write bout this lol xD

So k super fantastic guy. not so great.
Seems he only wanted sex. or sexual favors.
Its interesting how some people see him.
Friends said he was a sweet,funny,caring guy.
Why wasn't he that way to me.
I don't deserve this.
I deserve much better.
I'm a smart,talented,funny,sweet women. yes i said women.
I can get a better man.
Maybe its not my time.
Maybe he is confused and fustrated.
This is so bullshit, and i wanna b.s the motherfucker.
But i will keep my self pride. And not let anger get in the way.
I have learnt a thing or two in the past.
I definitly won't miss his ass.
Ok he has a great ass.
But that is not the point.
He tried using me. But im way to smart.
I have fallen down that path before. And never ever again will.
I think its better this way.
My brother would totally flip if he knew what Andrew said.
It almost makes me want to tell him. But i was partly to blame.
I wonder if he really did care.
Its doubtful.
Guys have 2 heads and only think with the one between their legs.
One day.
One day i will find my guy.
Someone as nice,gentle, and caring as me.
Who wont be an ass.
I'm not an object.
I have feelings to.
I will not be bothered with this.
Its not for me to judge.
Things happen that we cannot control.
This was my mistake and now i know.